Certain set of COMMANDMENTS

Okay, here goes my first post which is NOT poetry.
This post may sound a bit opinionated and unfair for all the gentlemen out there but still I cannot control myself from being sarcastic.....
.....

There are certain rules and norm which need to be followed while using public transport ( read bus). These cannot be and should not be bypassed.

1. If you are a guy, however hefty/lanky/tiny you are and you are sitting next to a girl, you never ever try to squeeze in both of your ass to fit the seat and in the process squeeze the girl and make her uncomfortable. It is perfectly fine if a quarter of your butt is hanging out. Trust me it doesnt off balance the equilibrium and you won't fall off from the seat and break your handsome nose or tooth. But if you do sqeeze in more then the girl might do that to you. If she is giving you the sudden glare and 'tuh tuttiing' with vexation at regular interval then thats srtike one and you have to behave. Suppose you act or let me give you the benefit of doubt and assume that you are imbecile and are unable to comprehend her body language and then if she finally says 'Excuse Me' Thats it! It should ring the fire bells and you should maintain at least one arm distance from her for like eternity.

2. Again for guys. This is an extension of the first.If you are sitting next to a girl who is not your friend for that matter not even an acquaintance, you never sit close to her. You have to leave atleast three inch of space inbetween and make sure that you don't elbow her. And if she gets fidgety and constantly shifts and moves away from you, then NO she is not giving you further space so that you can sprawl yours legs and sit like a an emperor on a throne!

PS: If you dancing by reading the above that you can do so with your friends then stop right away and read further.If she is your friend/acquaintance too, the above rule applies unless and until you do not share that comfort level with her. Duh uh...thats common sense dude..

PPS: If you are uncontrolably asleep and drool off even then the maximum limit to elow/fall on her is twice. You need to have a grip on yourself.

3. Guys are spared now. This is a common rule. You never cough/sneeze right out in the open. Tissues/handkerchief's have been invented for a reason. If these are out of reach then you look away or use your hand so that the germs just stay up to you. You can even try to stifle it, I dont think it will suffocate you or cause an emesis. But I know, stiffling it might be a pain in the lungs so you can be exempted from not trying to do that.

4. We all are music fans. Who doesn't like a bit of soothing jazz or for that matter brain dislocating bam bam. But whatever it is, whichever latest gadget you have be it an ipod or a S3 you want to flaunt, you do not put it on full volume and hum along 'Main tera Woofer, tu meri amplifier' in a level which is not audible to you off course but definitely is audible in the range on one meter around you!! This would cause severe nightmares to the folks trying to sleep/rest and they may wake up with a scream. You don't want that to happen to you, do you?

For now this is it....may be more later...